When it comes to gift giving, I always believe you should give something people don’t know they want or need. In fact, the more they don’t want or need a gift, the better. Trust me, I’ve become an expert on giving stuff that people don’t want or need. So with this in mind, here are some really good gifts for Christmas. or Kwanzaa. or Valentines Day. or whatever.
Chocolate covered insects
Imagine the look of confusion. It’s chocolate, so it’s tasty. It’s got 6 legs, so it’s icky. It’s icky tasty.
Put the Xmas in Exploring bodily fluids. Perhaps you are still recovering from the ReSearch book on Modern Primitives that you received for your 3rd birthday.
Extra nasty Marmite
It’s hard to imagine something worse than eating Marmite, but they’ve upped it with extra old bottles of the gross goo. Get extra points for forcing your gift recipient to eat this blind folded.
Moons over my hammy
Mooning gnome. What more could you ask for?
Just remind them that “Smoked Rattlesnake Is A True Western Delicacy. Cooked In A Tantalizing Smoke Sauce, You Will Amaze Your Friends And Family With This Exotic Treat!”
Yeah, they’ll believe that!
Marshmallow Penis Treats
You know that prudish aunt who is so uptight she poops diamonds? Put this under the tree for a good suprise
Grandma’s Farts candle
You’ll always know who farted with this candle. Give this one to Grandpa and he’ll thank you profusely for the eternal excuse.