Archive for 'Kitsch'

Alaskan Ladies are Gonna Get Lucky

This cookbook is guaranteed to make Alaskan bachelors absolutely irresistible to the lady folks up north. It’s also versatile, as girls can also read it.

The Great Alaskan Bachelor’s Cookbook: Ok for Girls to Read Too!

Terrible Christmas Gifts

When it comes to gift giving, I always believe you should give something people don’t know they want or need. In fact, the more they don’t want or need a gift, the better. Trust me, I’ve become an expert on giving stuff that people don’t want or need. So with this in mind, here are some really good gifts for Christmas. or Kwanzaa. or Valentines Day. or whatever.

Chocolate covered insects

Imagine the look of confusion. It’s chocolate, so it’s tasty. It’s got 6 legs, so it’s icky. It’s icky tasty.

Chocolate Covered Insects

Bodily Fluids

Put the Xmas in Exploring bodily fluids. Perhaps you are still recovering from the ReSearch book on Modern Primitives that you received for your 3rd birthday.

The Re/Search Guide to Bodily Fluids

Extra nasty Marmite

It’s hard to imagine something worse than eating Marmite, but they’ve upped it with extra old bottles of the gross goo. Get extra points for forcing your gift recipient to eat this blind folded.
Limited Edition Marmite XO Extra Old Matured longer for a stronger taste 250g jar in Gift box

Moons over my hammy

Mooning gnome. What more could you ask for?
Big Mouth Toys The Mooning Garden Gnome Salt and Pepper Shaker Set

Canned Snake

Just remind them that “Smoked Rattlesnake Is A True Western Delicacy. Cooked In A Tantalizing Smoke Sauce, You Will Amaze Your Friends And Family With This Exotic Treat!”
Yeah, they’ll believe that!

SMOKED RATTLESNAKE- Exotic Gourmet Canned Wild Game Meat

Marshmallow Penis Treats

You know that prudish aunt who is so uptight she poops diamonds? Put this under the tree for a good suprise
Marshmallow Willies

Grandma’s Farts candle

You’ll always know who farted with this candle. Give this one to Grandpa and he’ll thank you profusely for the eternal excuse.

Yank Me Candle Grandma's Fart Candle (Scented)

Army Man Coffee Cup

This coffee cup is just in time for Veterans Day. Head down to the commissary and grab a cup of Joe with this Army green soldier cup.
Big Mouth Toys Green Army Man Mug

If coffee’s not strong enough, you can always make an extra stop at the Package store.

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Celebrate your Moon Pie love

You know you love the combination of graham cracker cookies and marshmallow cream covered with decadent pseudo-chocolate. You know you love to share this forbidden love with your neighbors and friends. You know you’d love to have this sign in your kitchen to express your everlasting love for Moon Pies.

Moon Pie Best Lunch Distressed Retro Vintage Tin Sign

You sick bird.

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You better work… in the kitchen

This fabulous apron gives you the body of a super diva drag queen. You’ll be ready for RuPaul’s Drag Race and the midnight viewing of Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Transexual - Sexy Kitchen Apron - 100% Polyester

This apron is more than skin deep. It’s made out of an easy to clean polyester fabric for those little oopsies.

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Give your honey a heart shaped treat

Thump, thump. What’s that sound? Could it be a cherry jello mold? What could possibly be more romantic?

anatomic Heart shaped Gelatin Mold

This “mold is perfect for lovebirds, med school students, and aspiring cannibals.”

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